Many will tell you that the best place to invest your money is the stock market, but in this day in age, can you really trust them? Are they really looking out for you, or do they have an ulterior motive? Decide for yourself. The following are 10 reasons not to invest in the stock market.
- Your mattress returns 12% annually, and investing in an S&P 500 index fund, which has averaged 11% annually for the past 90 years, would prevent you from stashing your cash under your mattress which would in turn give you 12%.
- You don’t love your family. Perhaps your daughter won’t stop practicing the saxophone (and she sucks at it) or your son got his ear pierced. The best way to teach them a lesson is to be financially dependent on them when it’s time to retire.
- You know a guy that has lost a guy in the stock market. Face it. History repeats itself. If a guy you know little about invests in a stock that he hasn’t named specifically and lost what he describes as “a lot” of money, the S&P 500 will clearly stop averaging 11% annually.
- You are on a bus that is rigged to explode if you go below 65mph. You have more important things to worry about than investing your money.
- Your car’s spoiler isn’t big enough. Some things just take higher priority than investing. Ricing out your car is a life-long pursuit that will make you whole.
- Social security is just way too reliable and pays way too well. Saving money now would be silly. You should invest in a bigger spoiler for your car instead.
- In a twist of fate, the stock market has started to invest in you. Investing, in turn, in the stock market would throw the world off of its equilibrium, and you cannot be the one that has to take responsibility for that.
- Finance is hard. You barely passed the third grade. How are you expected to go on the Internet and sign up for a brokerage account? Wait a minute… wtf is the Internet?
- Your friend told you that the market isn’t doing well. Winning strategies in the stock market generally involve buying when prices are high and then waiting for them to fall before selling.
- You invented the stock market with the intention of destroying it. Gene Roddenberry was buried in space. What’s the lesson here? Don’t get caught in your own games.
Do any of these sound like you? If so, beware. The people telling you to invest in the stock market are trying to screw you. If you decide to do something about it, be sure that the revenge you plot is applicable to the crime.
Otherwise, perhaps it’s time to start investing. You’ll eventually find a great payoff from understanding finance.