Bear Grylls’ next challenge

Bear Grylls is one bad-ass mother fucker.

For those of you unfamiliar with Bear Grylls, Bear is a guy on survival show on TV. He gets dropped in locations with extreme geographical climates with little more than the clothes on his back. Once there, he teaches his audience, through demonstration, how to survive, as a camera crew follows him on turbo-charged segways. (I may have made up the part of the segways).

Somewhat recently, there has been controversy over how bad ass he actually is as it was discovered that he sometimes stays in hotels when the camera isn’t looking. However, the fact of the matter is that he is still bad ass because he jumped into a crevasse, and Oxford’s English Dictionary, anybody who jumps into a crevasse is bad ass.

Those that still support Bear wonder what his next challenge is. Will he be dropped from helicopter straight into the mouth of a volcano? Or will he teach his audience how to survive after being violently beaten, robbed, and then buried alive while on vacation in Tijuana? The answer is neither.

Though sources say that Bear does plan to get around to these, his next challenge will be: surviving Waterworld.

After being dropped from a helicopter into Waterworld, Grylls will demonstrate survival techniques for those stranded amongst the traders, smokers, and the vast expanses of water as a camera crew follows him on modified “sea-segways.” The end goal of this mission is to find land, the key to which is finding a girl named Enola with a map to land tattooed on her back. Whilst doing this, he will be evading the marauding Deacon and his crew of Smokers aboard the Exxon Valdez.

Grylls fully discloses that he will be sleeping in a house boat at night and that his camera crew secretly already know where land is. However, his crew has been strictly instructed not to divulge its whereabouts.

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23 thoughts on “Bear Grylls’ next challenge

  1. Kyle says:

    I LOVE Waterworld!

  2. kendra says:

    hell yeah!

  3. laserboy says:

    so bear’s show its all fake?

  4. That one girl says:

    its not fake he really does do all the stuff you see even though there is a camera crew…i still believe in bear!

  5. melissa says:

    I thought he carried the cameras with him… I thought it was survivor man who gets followed by cameras… I have seen episodes where he talks about having to do some parts twice so he can film himself doing it the first time, then has to go back and get the camera…. or do i have the two switched?

  6. James says:

    All you people can shut the fuck up….i love bear….i want his children for mine. He’s is a bad ass motherfucker and will continue to be for all time. The truth is…he could survive out there…even though he sometimes stays in hotels, but give the guy a break, he runs around jungles and deserts as a job, what kind of social calender is that. So I say, let the champ go and sit in his hotel, get fucked up on booze and chill with some species that can respond to him without trying to bite him and he doesn’t have to eat.

    P.S. waterworld is fucking legend.

  7. ddf says:

    i don’t think it’s fake, why else would he drink elephant crap and eat bugs and maggots?i like him

  8. alex says:

    the man drank his own piss how many people do you know that would do that he is a bamf

  9. JACK says:

    Bear eats live rodents,frogs,drinks water from camel’s stomach!!HOw can he be fake.Even if he stays at hotels and camera crew knows everthing I doubt if anybody could just eat GOAT’S TESTIS RAW.

  10. Matt says:

    Bear Grylls, absolute legend, he does everything most people wouldnt even think about, after watching his documentry, i just want to get out there, and do what he does!!!
    he’s a great inspiration. and james, yeh those people giving him a hard time about sleeping in hotels if needed, then let him, everything you see him do is real. BEAR RULES

  11. rebecca says:

    i love bear he is so awsome and i don’t care what u guys think i love his show i watch it ever day!!!!!!!! i love u bear!!!

  12. rebecca says:

    i don’t care what u guys say about his show bear grylls rocks and he is the only person i know of 2 eat revolting stuff like that!!1

  13. Todd says:

    Bear is awesome, no doubt about it! I mean, c’mon! He is an inspirational individual who is out there doing it, while being critisized by those who aren’t out anywhere and don’t do anything! What the hell!?
    However much I enjoy and admire bear, he is, in fact, somewhat fraudulent about his survival activities. Staying in hotels is inexcusable! He is getting paid great money for suffering, so the least he can do is the least he needs to do for his paycheck.
    I don’t care that there’s a camera crew there and that they stage a few survival scenarios, but I don’t want to hear about hotels and room service while he professes to be struggling for survival.
    Not really much to gripe about, all things considered!

  14. Randy says:

    Bear is the real deal. We the people of this society need to take life leassons from this guy. This world we live in is too pussy for me. I like the rugged regions of the world.

  15. raju says:

    hi ,

    bear gyrll is the great man .My family all watching his show man vs wild . he was the ex army .he teachs to eats all think how to living in jungle . so i think he was a great men

  16. phuck yoo says:

    aww yeah, bears is the shit!

  17. manns says:

    Hey Who s the hell moth**fuc**ng guy made this blog…
    i dont think u tht much know anything abt surviving..
    u can jus do sitting front of computer wid some pornography…..
    can u dare to grab a livin snake n eat it 2 survive…??
    i think u will immediately come back wid ur wet pant….
    then jus fffffffuuuuccckkkk yyyooouuuuu…
    bear grylls rocks!!!
    – from his true fan

  18. Derek says:

    The fact that Bear Grylls stays at hotels (assuming this is correct) is not really important. The show isn’t really showcasing HIS ability to survive, but to teach survival skills to others. If you watch the show, ask yourself if you have indeed learned survival skills from watching. If you have, then the show is worthwhile. Clearly, the show is “not real” because he PUTS himself in situations to begin with.

  19. Rebel Juicy J says:

    The reply’s here posted are quite amusing. However, it should be noted, working with production television is never what is actually appeared. with this granted, a conclusion should be drawn that his actions, or ie, stunts are truthful. In addition, never the less, I tend to believe, that the allegations of Senior Gryll’s residing else where, when filming, most likely are correct assumtions.

    Then again, that though is just me.

    GO BEARS!

  20. Robert M. says:

    If this Bear fellow wants a challenge he should allow a group of fifth graders to plan his ordeal. I don’t think they’d just bury him up to his neck in loose sandy soil. Well, maybe something like that. But, he would probably be up side down up to his ankles.

    I kind of thought that the key to surviving was to not get into such situations, not deliberately antagonize mother nature. If he ever manages to get himself killed, will that be a nature channel special? Could he be stuffed and displayed at some natural history museum?

    Just keep in mind that there are old men and there are bold men. But, there are no old bold men.

  21. simian says:

    how can he stay in hotels when hes int he middle of them places byt he timehe gets back to the hotel it would be morning

  22. Goute says:

    Bear Grylls is one tough SOB! snakes, spiders, poop… nuthin scares him.

  23. John says:

    bear is cool

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