Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Downtime

PicardAre you a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Or any Star Trek series for that matter? If so, you’ve probably wondered:

  • Why is the ship constantly malfunctioning?
  • Why don’t members of the crew ever have to use the bathroom?
  • Why are all of the command officers constantly going on away missions together?

The fact of the matter is that if this were not the case, then the series would not be very exciting. Most people would not pay to watch things on the Federation flagship go smoothly. But for everyone else, Viacom is releasing the DVD set Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Downtime is for you. This set, to be released in both standard definition and BluRay formats, will include 5,0o0 hours of mundane footage aboard the Federation Starship Enterprise D. Included will be the following episodes:

  1. Episode 5 – An away team of one ensign and several crewman come in contact with a mysterious form of bacteria on a planet near the Romulan Neutral Zone. When beamed back to the Enterprise, biofilters in the transporter remove the bacteria, and the crew remains healthy.
  2. Episode 12 – Lt. Commander Data takes command of the bridge during the night watch. He stares blankly at the viewer for 8 hours until Captain Picard relieves him. An ensign at the helm is seen nodding off at hour 4.
  3. Episode 23 – Commander Riker orders some Pad Thai (spiciness level of 3) from the replicator. He makes a comment that replicated Pad Thai does not taste as authentic as the real thing. Geordi makes a comment about never having been to Thailand. After dinner, Riker drops a deuce and then returns to bridge duty.
  4. Episode 40 – The Enterprise encounters an alien probe floating through space. Their analysis shows that the probe is technologically archaic. The probe then opens fire on the Enterprise and attempts to take control of the ship’s computer. The deflector shield blocks the phasor blasts, and the computer does not give archaic probes control of the ship. Picard orders the probe to be destroyed.
  5. Episode 43 – Ensign Crusher develops a love interest with a girl. To impress her, he goes to the gym and does bicep curls, push ups, and crunches for half an hour. He then hops on the elliptical machine for another half hour.

Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Downtime is expected to hit stores in August, 2008.

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