Cut to the Chase – Girls that can play soccer just as well as the boys can

Gracie and Viola are two girls with similar problems. They want to beat their school’s rival boys’ soccer team, and they both have vaginas. To overcome this obstacle, the two have very different strategies.

Gracie’s strategy starts with asking her father to train her. Then, she and her father petition the school board to allow girls to try out for the boys team. When she tries out, she makes junior varsity. Then some how, she gets put into the varsity game where she helps her school defeat their rival team. And thus you have Gracie (2007), starring Carly Shroeder, Dermot Mulroney, and Elizabeth Shue.

Viola, on the other hand, is not one for bureaucracy. She dresses up as her brother, goes to boarding school in his stead while he is in London to secretly enter a contest with his band. Viola ends up living with Duke, the captain of the boys soccer team, and she trades love-help for soccer help. Eventually, Viola makes varsity, wins the game against the rival high school, reveals to the world that she is a girl, and seduces Duke. And thus you have, She’s the Man (2006), starring Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, and Laura Ramsey.

Note to movie directors: If you’re trying to make girls look like they are good at soccer, please first teach them how not to run like girls.


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