Monthly Archives: July 2010

A letter to the seedless green grape

Seedless green grape,

I think you’re great. I know that at your best, you’re cheaper than seedless red grapes and just as sweet. Sometimes, you’re sweeter! I like that often, you are also plumper than seedless red grapes, which I think get away with being deformed more than they should.

Seedless green grape, it makes me sad that people often think that you’re not sweet because you’ve on occasion been not-too-sweet. I bet it’s also partly because you’re green so people associate you with being sour. I wish more people would give you a chance (without raising demand and thus raising your market price).

In conclusion, I know you’re out there fighting the good fight, and I appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Al

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The Alcohol Knowledge Test

I was at some stupid web site where they have a bunch of personality tests. One of them was called the “Alcohol Knowledge Test,” and the scores they give you at the end are types of alcohols. Clever, right?

…well, not for the people who have little knowledge of alcohol who won’t understand their score.