If there’s one thing I know that I don’t appreciate in life, it’s change. That’s why I still sport a bedazzled denim jacket from 1987, and I wear burlap underwear, which was the fashion at the time in the 17th century when underwear was first invented.
So imagine my surprise when I find out that people are using something called “Facebook,” complain about it every time there’s a new update, threaten to stop using it, and then forget all about all of the changes and go about their business. I don’t know how people deal with that!
Personally, when I want to share my thoughts with my peers, I prefer to load up Word Perfect 7.1, which I actually converted to PDP8 assembly so I could run it on my mainframe, which is then interfaced with a series of bobbins which weave a tapestry that displays my blog. The tapestry is then distributed to my friends via carrier pigeons on steroids.
And how has this been working for me? I’m not going to lie. It sucks. Every once in a while, the punch card manufacturer that I use arbitrarily decides to change the material with which they create punch cards (wtf is “recycled product”?), and the pigeon handlers (aka “Pigeoners”) threaten to unionize.
Really, I miss the good ol’ days of wooden punch cards, carrier velociraptors, and no underwear.