WARNING: Ranty post!
Every notice that often when you ask someone why they have some hobby, they rattle off 5 or so answers that generally have nothing to do with the actual reason why they do things? One day, my sister was telling me about how she wanted to buy some more gems, and I asked her why she liked buying gems so much, and she said “because I like having pretty things.” What a refreshingly honest answer! The following post parses through common answers I hear to “why” to provide what I think are the real answers.
Why do you go to the gym?
Official answer: It reduces health risk factors, helps me better regulate my energy levels during the work day, makes me feel better afterward, and helps me perform better in my co-rec sports league.
Actual answer: It makes me less unappealing to the opposite sex.
Why do you like guns?
Official answer: It helps with hand-eye coordination, builds confidence, and studies show that areas where more people are proficient in guns have lower crime rate as it increases the risk of committing crime for criminals.
Actual answer: It makes a cool BANG noise when I pull the trigger!
Why are you on the Paleo diet?
Official answer: The modern diet is so polluted by refining processes and the all mighty corn industry that the only way to truly be healthful is to eat that cavemen did (plus or minus a few arbitrary decisions and add a workout routine that would make cavemen go “wtf?”)
Actual answer: I haven’t really thought about correlation vs causation, but some people that are in better shape than I am are on this diet, so I figured I’d give it a try.
Why do you pirate music/software?
Official answer: It’s my way of balancing out the unfair distribution of wealth. Big software companies and the recording industry don’t NEED my money, and meanwhile they’re just making record profits (pun intended!)
Actual answer: I’m cheap, fairly confident that I won’t get caught, and morally bankrupt.
Why do you have a StarCraft table in your apartment?
Official answer: So people can come over and play StarCraft, obviously?
Actual answer: So people can come over and play StarCraft. I think once a StarCraft player reveals that they play StarCraft, the big secret’s out, and they’re pretty open about it.