Monthly Archives: November 2011

Fundraising for Wikipedia

I like Wikipedia and everything, but you know what makes me want to donate money to Wikipedia even less than seeing this at the top of every page?

jimmywales_thumb

Answer: seeing this at the top of every page:

brandonharris

Fun fact: Wikipedia is actually run by a motorcycle gang.

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Cut to the Chases: Limitless, Take Me Home Tonight, and Step Up 3D: Tokyo Drift

For a lot of people, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of a four day weekend when you finally have a chance to relax and watch a bunch of Netflix. For me, I call this “Thursday.”

This weekend, I’ve watched Limitless, Take Me Home Tonight, and Step Up 3D, and I’ll cut to the chases of all three of them.

1. Limitless220px-Limitless_Poster

Bradley Cooper takes a pill that makes him smart. When he stops taking the pill, he vomits a lot and walks funny. Russian loan sharks are mean to him. Robert De Niro pretends to know a lot about money.

 

 

220px-Take_Me_Home_Tonight_Poster2. Take Me Home Tonight

See: Can’t Hardly Wait. For kicks, you can also see Post Grad, but I don’t recommend it. That’s probably just over-thinking it.

Warning: This film is vaguely 80’s themed. Like Donnie Darker, but vaguer.

 

220px-Step_up_3d3. Step Up 3D: Tokyo Drift

This is a save-the-rec-center-via-dance ala Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo style film, but instead of a rec center for kids, it’s a warehouse where Luke, a guy who loves to dance, houses a bunch of other people that love to dance. Yes, they all just live in a warehouse.

This is also about Moose from Step Up 2D. Though he loves to dance, his parents want him to pursue a career in engineering, so this is a story of Moose moving to New York to study electrical engineering at NYU.

How does it end? Well, it’s really a three-part ending.

First, they win the dance competition against a rival dance group called "the Samurai,” earning enough money to save their dance warehouse.

Then, we see Moose in a heartfelt meeting with his dean proposing that they allow him to be the first person ever to double major in electrical engineering and dance.

(Note from a person that has gone to college: double majoring in EE and dance is not only not hard to get approval for, but it’s also completely useless. Unless, of course, Moose later wants to pursue a double PhD in EE and dance.)

Last, we see Natalie in Grand Central Terminal. Natalie met Luke at the beginning of the film, and she’s about to take a train to California. She’s also spent the entire film convincing Luke, the guy who loves dance so much that he lives in a warehouse full of dancers, to pursue is real passion, which is film???? In any case, Luke decides to take a train with her to California so he can study film.

For those of you that are curious, taking a train to California is like taking a plane there:

planetocaliforniaoneway

Except it’s twice the price and takes about 2 days longer:

traintocalifornia

Oh, and since it’s in 3D, along the way, the film involves a lot of pointing at the camera while dancing.

The end.

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Things that have returned

I saw this ad on Facebook about the return of Beavis and Butthead:

beavisandbutthead

And it inspired me to create a post called “Things that have returned” where I list things that have returned and provide some half-assed commentary.

Here’s a list of things that have returned:

1. The Jedi

220px-ReturnOfTheJediPoster1983

Were there any Asians in the entire trilogy? This blog says yes.

2. Batman

220px-Batman_returns_poster2

For a while, I considered this to be the last Batman movie where anyone tried until Batman Begins. Then I rewatched it and decided that everyone that was involved in creating this movie had to be on hallucinogens.

3. The King

220px-EsdlaIII

This was way harder than it really had to be. You just had to ask all of the dead people, “hey, I need you to do me a favor and destroy 2 armies.” I don’t know why nobody thought of that.

4. The Living Dead

220px-Return_of_the_living_deadposter

I don’t know why I posted this. I’ve never seen it.

5. Jafar

220px-Returnofjafar

I haven’t seen this, but guessing from other “Return of” movies that I have seen, the evil Aladdin create a giant sphere-shaped space station with the power of destroying planets. He paints the likeness of himself and his friends on the side. Jafar, representing the knights of the Old Republic, flies with a fleet of rebels into a tiny hole and destroys the whole thing like he did two movies ago in Aladdin 0: A New Hope.

6. Superman

SpmRetPos

Returned: Superman.

Noticeably absent in this film: Writing.

7. Jimmy Wale’s face on Wikipedia asking you for money

jimmywales

Dude’s got a muscly face and he wants your monies.

Al hates on Captain Planet

Back in the first grade, I was a huge fan of Captain Planet (largely because it was the fashion at the time). These days, there are still some episodes that are really good and relevant (see the Civil Rights-ish one!) However, it’s 20 years later, and I’m just a huge hater, so I decided that I’d just hate on Captain Planet for a bit.

Did any of you notice what this was:

geocruiser

It was the Geo-cruiser. It’s a vertical-takeoff capable, solar-powered flying vehicle. The Planeteers used it to go anywhere they needed to go so they could fight the villains.

But did anyone stop and think that it might be a good idea to release manufacturing specifications of the Geo-cruiser? Within the surface area of a small plane that holds 6 people, they figured out how to harness enough solar power to ACHIEVE FLIGHT. Maybe share this with the rest of the world and end fossil fuel emissions for good? AMIRITE? Maybe? Ionno???

And did anyone remember how at the end of episodes, they tell kids how to do good for the planet? In one episode, Ma-Ti’s advice was something along the lines of, “cars pollute. Ride a tram.” Where in the population of people who watch Captain Planet are there trams? I lived in the suburbs. How is that at all helpful to me? That’s the kind of advice that’s only useful to Ed Begley Jr: the only guy who cares enough about the environment and has enough disposable income to build a tram.

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