Al hates on Captain Planet

Back in the first grade, I was a huge fan of Captain Planet (largely because it was the fashion at the time). These days, there are still some episodes that are really good and relevant (see the Civil Rights-ish one!) However, it’s 20 years later, and I’m just a huge hater, so I decided that I’d just hate on Captain Planet for a bit.

Did any of you notice what this was:


It was the Geo-cruiser. It’s a vertical-takeoff capable, solar-powered flying vehicle. The Planeteers used it to go anywhere they needed to go so they could fight the villains.

But did anyone stop and think that it might be a good idea to release manufacturing specifications of the Geo-cruiser? Within the surface area of a small plane that holds 6 people, they figured out how to harness enough solar power to ACHIEVE FLIGHT. Maybe share this with the rest of the world and end fossil fuel emissions for good? AMIRITE? Maybe? Ionno???

And did anyone remember how at the end of episodes, they tell kids how to do good for the planet? In one episode, Ma-Ti’s advice was something along the lines of, “cars pollute. Ride a tram.” Where in the population of people who watch Captain Planet are there trams? I lived in the suburbs. How is that at all helpful to me? That’s the kind of advice that’s only useful to Ed Begley Jr: the only guy who cares enough about the environment and has enough disposable income to build a tram.

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