Category Archives: Health First

Health First – Glute Activation

The posterior chain is an important muscle group. It plays a big role in motions such as running, sprinting, and jumping. Likewise, it becomes physically difficult to perform many activities when the glutes are not functional. This is why glute activation is so important.

In humans manufactured before 2008, the glutes become nonfunctional if activation is not performed within 30 days of first operation. This was a feature designed by God to discourage the distribution of organs via black markets. By going through a simple glute activation process, the glute authentication is verified, and the body will be able to resume normal operation.

Feedback via prayer seems to have convinced God that the functional restrictions resulting from failed glute activation provides a poor user experience for many genuine glutes that just have not had the time to activate. This has been a huge problem for many IT departments (hospitals).

For humans manufactured post 2008 (or those manufactured pre-2008 that have installed the glute service pack), failure to activate glutes will not result in a shut down of glutes but may result in more annoyances. For example, glute users that have failed to activate glutes within 30 days of first operation may wake up one morning to find that their glutes have merged into one large muscle, preventing bowel movement. Others may just find that their glutes fire more slowly and continually encourage them to activate.

Unless you want to risk having glute failure, be sure to acquire your glutes through legitimate means such as birth. For those of you with genuine glutes, take time to activate them. Spending the extra time will surely pay off.


Health First – Learning more about health

attractive woman from menshealth.comWe all rely on the Internet for basic necessities such as teaching your kids about sex, reminding you when your husband’s up for parole, and watching Rick Astley videos, but can you also use it for learning about health? Not at this blog, ha ha ha, no.

But here’s some sites you can take a look at:

  1. It’s a site run by a dude that is jacked and does a lot of research. Sure he doesn’t seem to be “certified,” but everything I’ve learned from trainers seem to be consistent with what he has to say. I use a routine close to his, and I’d have to say that it works pretty well for me.
  2. is run by this trainer. What’s great about her site is that she goes over practical tips and points out things that are useful to know. Like when you do a dead lift with near perfect form, and then you start arching your back and twisting to unrack the weights. Yeah, that’s bad news.
  3. Every day, they show a new picture of an attractive woman, and they list about 10 exercises that will probably waste your time. Buy the Abs Diet book (written by the editor in chief), and then come back every day for the new picture, but ditch the exercises.

Also note that is not applicable to women as men and women have completely different anatomies. Did you know: Unlike men, women are technically not part of the phylum chordata? Their stinging nettles earn them the classification of Cnidaria.

So now you’ve got two sites to check out to learn more about health. Check them out. When you start taking exercising and dieting seriously enough to research it, you’re well on your way to putting health first.

Health First – Join the whole grain revolution

whole wheat bread

Ten years ago, it seemed that the bread of choice was white bread. And why not? It’s relatively cheap and tastes good. But now, the craze is all about whole grain. Whole grain cereal and whole wheat breads. Why the turn to whole grains? As it turns out, Americans are turning to whole grains as they’re beginning to place health first.

Whole grains are simply great. They provide complex carbohydrates, which your body takes longer to break down. Translation: you get a sustained source of energy for hours. Additionally, unlike white bread, whole grains are not refined. The refining process takes a lot of the goodness such as fiber out of grains. The fiber, in turn, takes more effort for your body to digest, which adds to the slow-release effect, sustaining your body with a steady supply of energy for hours without spiking your insulin levels (which may make you feel drowsy after a big meal).

What else? Don’t forget, both soluble and non-soluble fiber fight bad cholesterol, reducing the risk of heart disease.

So how do you take advantage of these whole grains?

  1. For breakfast, have some whole grain cereal. I personally prefer Multigrain Cheerios, but walking down the cereal aisle of your grocery store, you’ll find plenty of choices.
  2. For lunch, have a turkey sandwich with whole grain bread. The lean turkey will provide you with protein without a lot of fat. Throw in some avocado as well for omega 3 and 6 fatty acids.
  3. For dinner, substitute whole grain pasta for your regular pasta. If you’re more of a rice person, substitute brown rice for your white rice.

These three simple steps will start you down the right path for finding the healthier you. Keep reading Health First for more tips on losing weight while improving your overall health. And remember, always put your health first!

Health First – Dealing with the common cold

Thanks everyone for reading my new segment. Health First is all about protecting your most important asset. No, not your home. Your car.

Just joking. Your health.

Today, let’s take a look at a common trouble maker that’s been going around. I’m referring to the common cold. Symptoms for the common cold may vary but typically include a sore throat, a stuffy or runny nose, and coughing. Yes you know what I’m talking about. If you find yourself afflicted with the common cold, be sure to take these steps:

  1. Stay home from work. You don’t want to spread it to your coworkers.
  2. Drink plenty of water. Your body will need the water as it works extra hard to fight off the cold.
  3. Dry your hair. This is probably how you got sick.

Does step 3 shock you? Well, the common belief is that colds are caused by viruses. Additionally, some studies show that taking high doses of vitamin C will strengthen the immune system, preventing colds. As I lay in bed today,  I am living proof that taking high doses of vitamin C does nothing, and by a miracle of loose logic, this negates the first claim that colds are caused by viruses. Instead of looking toward these dead end beliefs for a method of prevention, consider a chapter from the book of Ancient Chinese wisdom.

According to Chinese mothers, going outside with your hair wet is the cause of the common cold. Don’t remember going outside with your hair wet? Perhaps try some ginseng to improve your memory because you most certainly did. How about this morning when you hopped out of the shower and then immediately walked your dog? Or the other day when your ex-girlfriend dumped water on your head, embarrassing you in front of your dungeons and dragons club? Yes, someone left the window open, which is roughly equivalent.

Be sure in the future to make sure you dry your hair immediately after it is wet and before you are anywhere that qualifies as “outside.” It’ll save you headaches (literally!) and missed days of productivity at work. Thanks again for joining me for health first. Remember that it pays to put your health first!